Lessons from the farm (a bit dark, discretion advised)

[Elleth]

So thanks to our balmy autumn, today was our first hog slaughter day on the farm: we processed the first of three pigs this morning.
We've done goats before, but this was the first time with a pig. Slaughter day is always a little mournful (and squick: every time you reevaluate if you really want to keep eating meat)... but the worst part is done.

Anyhow.. it leads to some observations. Those of you who are hunters already know this I'm sure. But for those who aren't...

1. Nothing dies easy.
The kill was perfect, she dropped like a bag of rocks. The "there" in there was gone immediately.
But unlike the movies, bodies don't just switch off and lay still. A three hundred pound hog taken down perfectly, in calm conditions while she's at peace and unsuspecting - the body can still kick fierce even when there's nothing left inside.

But an orc filled instead with with adrenaline and rage? Dying not of a controlled kill but instead bleeding out through the best puncture or slash a harried ranger managed to sneak past armor?

I think if anyone tried to put what a real rangers - vs - orc battle would look like to screen, we'd all be having nightmares for a month.

2. It's a lot of work!
There's an incredible amount of time and amount of work involved in turning a live animal to a carcass ready for butchering. Not even thinking about getting it to the plate or preserved for the winter: just getting as far as a cleaned carcass is enough to keep two people busy for a good long while. Granted we're not practiced hands doing this every day, and we're going out of our way to save and preserve everything we can.

On the other hand we're working in fairly ideal circumstances with specialized tools - in field conditions with just a knife an hatchet we'd take I think longer to produce far worse results.
What does that imply for a lone Ranger on the move? Either he's stuck on location for the better part of a morning (at least), even if he's not letting meat hang... or he's sticking to small game, or he's just pulling out a few of the easiest/best cuts, perhaps wrapping them in the hide as a packet, and leaving the bulk of the carcass to the wolves.

Aragorn's not dropping a whole whitetail at the campfire I don't think.



3. Eating the icky bits.
Living on a 21st century diet with the comparative luxury a 21st century lifestyle provides, I can afford to turn up my nose at the offal spilling out, or get a little queasy at saving the blood for sausage. Take away that luxury though - say "these three animals are what you'll have to make it through winter: them and nothing else" - all of a sudden you bet I'm thinking of ways to fry those kidneys and serve that liver. Heck: the shear amount of fat and mineral wealth in the organ meats probably smells and feels entirely different to a body warmed only by fire and wool, struggling through harsh winters. I imagine I'd be looking at that liver with deep-in-my-bones craving, not the squick-tinged childhood memories of dinner at gramma's place.

The world we reenact is a very, very different place.

[Manveruon]

Glad I read this. Also glad I get to live in an exceptionally privileged 21st Century 1st world country, where abundance is taken for granted. There's a fair amount of guilt mixed in as well, but I'm still glad. People often ask if I think I was "born in the wrong century," because, y'know, I like swords and funny clothes, but I always tell them I think I was born in the exact right century - one with antibiotics and the Internet. Yep. I'm perfectly happy to be a thoroughly modern man playing at "ye olde times" on the weekends, honestly.

That being said, I have a LOT of respect for those of you who decide to do this sort of thing, because to my mind it's a lot more honest than how most of us live. Like I said, I'm glad I read it, and I'm glad you shared it. This information may not be something we like think about much, but we should all probably at least be aware of it on some level, just to keep us a little grounded, if nothing else.

[Greg]

VERY interesting post. I'll warn additional readers...my response (and several others', I'm sure) is not going to be any less pleasant to read than the first post, FYI.

There's nothing fun or manly about it, am I right? I know some people (I'd call them acquaintances) who fall into the realm of trophy hunters that brag about how it takes a MAN to take down a deer and butcher the carcass. I am proud to say that ANY animal I'm processing makes me feel just a quick pang of "gross", even now after years of hawking and processing dozens and dozens of rabbits and squirrels. It think it keeps me human and thankful, and it's something I proudly tell these trophy hunters, in hopes that they'll drop their ego and be more honest with the world.

There ARE a few ways to make an orc die easily and quickly, but they require specific weapons and specific circumstances, including large blunt bludgeoning objects and an unarmored head, hit at the right angle to both mar the brain and break the neck at the same time. That'll put them down immediately, but helmets seemed to be pretty common, and getting a good hard shot at the head or neck without thrusting isn't always easy. There are some sentry-removal-style means of putting one down noiselessly without a fight, too...but they generally fall outside the category of head-on combat, too.

When I put down live mice and rats for hawk food purposes, the easiest and quickest way is to put them in the bottom of an old sock, and swing them against a stump or rock. Not a pleasant thought, but it's instant, not messy, and they essentially feel no pain, no bleeding out. Spine gets severed, and it's over.

Rabbits and squirrels aren't so easy. Squirrels are fighters, and can bite a hawk's toe clean off, so I keep a sharp stitching awl handy so if my bird catches a squirrel, I can get in there and help right away with a quick shot to the brain. Rabbits can break a hawk's breastbone with their hind legs, so I typically grab them at the base of the neck (while the Hawk's holding on) and jerk the hind legs out, again to sever the spine.

But it doesn't always work, and it's hard to tell the difference between death and shock. Several minutes after jerking on a Jackrabbit and starting to process it, years ago, the rabbit got up and started trying to hop away. Not my proudest moment.

We owe it to our quarry and our livestock to know what we're doing at the start, for the same reason that we shouldn't hunt live game until we know for certain we can hit the vitals at a reasonable range. Wounding a wild animal and never finding it is a fear of mine I've never yet had to face.


You're right about processing times...I'm not shooting anything bigger than a turkey unless I've got several mouths and a Ranger outpost with a cold storage root cellar to bring it back to. I stick to rabbits, squirrels, grouse, turkeys, etc., mostly squirrels outside of hawking, which is where Rabbits come in. A rabbit can be skinned and cleaned out with just a simple knife in about five minutes, because the hide comes off easily. A squirrel? Get comfortable. If you want to do it cleanly, and have a hide to tan at the end of the day, it'll take some time because squirrel hide holds on like it's still alive; doesn't want to separate out without a fight. A deer? Hours...especially in the woods, without a rack to hang it on, trying to keep it out of the dirt, etc.

[Ursus]

Props for hitting on such a realistic topic Elleth.

I've been looking into taking some classes on butchering for homesteading purposes and yes it is a hard, bloody bit of work. I don't often take large game because I don't need that much meat. I do often set snares on overnights for small game and follow a waste not philosophy with live game. Personally I like a lot of the nasty bits that most people pitch, especially a well cooked, salted liver. Hides are also scrapped and stretched, most often I give to my father as he has more use for them. I treat fresh meat as more of a delicacy on the trail, for those times when cold rations just wont cut it, or to augment what I carry in the form of a stew. My tools are just my small camp knife and my hands or heck a small sharp piece of flint if I want the challenge of finding rock and breaking it.


For this part of the post I'm adding an extra Viewer Discretion Advised tag.
On the topic of fighting post injury I understand intimately. Just as with hunting, in the century we live in most are removed(thankfully) from having to fight for there life. In my early twenties I did a lot of work as a bouncer and security at some rough bars and local dives. To spare the details, I have been stabbed twice. Once in the left hip and once just above my left knee cap and cut quite badly once on my left shoulder. I won all encounters. The point there is never underestimate an injured opponent. And not to make it sound like big bad Ursus, I want to say it is a terrifying thing to go through. Skill, adrenaline, and luck are what saved me each time. As a result I now have an occasional very slight limp in my left leg when it rains and my hip and shoulder often ache something terrible in cold wet weather. It is my way though, the warriors way, and none of it troubles me. I make it my business to stand between a threat and peaceful folk. But back to the point. Nobody ever goes down easily. Combat is not romantic or heroic and nothing ever goes the way you want it to. Bad guys certainly don't just drop when struck and you certainly don't just walk away unscathed. There are no winners in a fight, just grateful survivors.
Apologies if this is to graphic. I don't often share information like this as it isn't something I like to gloat over, but its always my goal to paint a realistic view of hand to hand combat.

[Mirimaran]

I love this honest post, as in the fact that life and death struggles are not glossed over in some Hollywood fashion. Tolkien certainly didn't, as loss is felt as much as can be conveyed by the written word, and as Rangers we would certainly understand that life and death is a balance, give and take, and that death comes in many forms, and most unpleasant. Ursus, I have read that being stabbed is a pain that can be indescribable, myself all I have to reference is kidney stones, which is like being stabbed from the inside out, I suppose.

Ken

[MasterStrong]

Well, this takes me back.

I grew up on a cattle and sheep ranch in Idaho. Most of the animals were sold off to butchers and slaughterhouses, but we took care of our own needs right there. I'm grateful for the experience and valuable lessons I learned, but I'm also very grateful that I can by my meat at a grocery store and get to go out and 'play' at living so rough.