my new longbow--- as related to the Great Gods Murphy & Eris

[RikJohnson]

I actually have pics but do you really want to see how badly I messed up?


MY NEW LONGBOW PROJECT
How everything can go wrong!

A few months ago, GIBow had started to sell D-shaped Longbows. Normally they sell flatbows but I decided to try their U-Finish Longbow and because I was a very good customer (sometimes I think I pay their rent), I got an early Longbow at a very good price. The bow came in (I forget the weight I ordered but was probably 45-50#) and was given a light sanding and staining then set upon a bow-rack until I could find some horns with which to tip the bow. I figure, if you buy a ‘medieval’ bow, it should ‘look’ Period.

You would think that Arizona, being an Open Range Ranch state (if you don’t want your neighbors cattle eating your flowers, YOU have to fence them out), finding horns would be easy! It Ain’t! After more than a month (lots of people telling me that they see them all the time) I was able to find one single horn at a swap meet and that only because the guy was selling some overpriced antlers. I mentioned that I needed horns, not antlers and he remembered that he had a single horn in his trunk. Another month or more and an artist friend found a second for me. They didn’t match but so what! Now I am ready. I have 1 January off and have to work on the 2nd so I can do some work the 31st as I have no plans, most of it the 1st and be forced to let it dry until the weekend 3rd & 4th to finish up.

I also had a Carriage Bow I contracted from GIBow but the epoxy they used for the connection may have worked in Pennsylvania but the Arizona heat and lack of humidity caused the epoxy to separate from the metal so I figured that I could re-glue the Carriage Bow at the same time. I scored the inside of the fittings to grip the new epoxy to prepare for the repairs. I also made a leather cover for the handle with a piece of antler for an arrow rest.

I also had purchased a fiberglass Horse Bow kit from GI Bow and wanted to also spread that project over these days. Are you beginning to see why they think that I am a good customer? After more than a month of waiting, I finally checked and found that their computer upgrade had switched my mailing address with my billing address so my Horsebow kit was waiting at the post office instead of my house. So a trip last Saturday to pick it up (gave some guy bus money to shut him up while I was in line) and another trip to Ace to get more Tung Oil, epoxy, stretch wrap and other needed materials and I am ready!

Tuesday I get invited by my daughter’s Mom to watch Bell Book and Candle on New Year’s Eve. It’s a tradition we do and she also invited the coven and a bunch of her friends for movie & drinks. I love that movie so agreed. Scratch the preliminary work on the bows. After agreeing, this model I know asked what I was doing NYEve and when I told her about the movie, she commented that she was hoping I would be alone as she wanted company that night. I rushed out and bought 4 bottles of her favorite wine, THEN remembered that I had made previous araingements for that night. Drat!

I put all my bow-making gear out and was getting ready for the movie when a friend called. I had been watching his cat while he was out-of-town with relatives but he wasn’t calling to get his cat, it was 7pm and he was stuck in a dark parking lot because he had locked his keys in the car with the engine running. He had no back-up key, none of his friends were answering their phones (it WAS New Years Eve!) the locksmiths were closed and he was desperate. Did I mention that it was raining? I rushed to a couple auto parts stores I knew and finally found an auto-jack kit for sale for $75! It seems that the cheap car-jack bars won’t work on the newer cars. I bought the thing under the condition that the salesman showed me how to use it and stood in the rain watching him break into my car. I rushed to the friend who had been calling me every 5 minutes and realized that neither of us had a flashlight and the parking lot lights were out. He was also in a light jacket as he had only planned to run from the car to the store and was, understandably, freezing in the rain. We got his door unlocked, I rushed home to salvage the night and he called again to tell me he was picking up his cat in 10 minutes. Closer to a half hour…. He also paid for my catsitting and getting his car open with a bottle of cheap wine and a pie that had so much sugar I couldn’t eat it.

Got rid of him, rushed over to watch the movie and got home by 11:30. Off to bed… alone…. No model, just my dog.

Next morning, a biker-chick I know called to ask if she could come by for a while. Sure, but remember to bring back those things she borrowed like my weed-wacker, etc. She would be there by 9am. Good because Robert was bringing his dog by so I could pet-sit for him while he took his gf on a skiing trip. She did mention that she was cleaning up… why? I’d find out when she arrived but I shouldn’t make plans to leave the house anytime soon. She had been trying to get together with me and the model for some time.

Robert shows up around 10:30, the model calls to tell me that she got home from a party at 7am and I could have gone with her and the biker chick says that she is on the way. I gave the pie to Robert for the weekend as I won't eat all that sugar and they finally left. So I am waiting for the Biker Chick to bring my stuff back then I was going over to a friend’s house to cover her plants and move a few heavy things for her before she goes to work at 2pm.

Noon and the biker chick is in the shower. 1:30 and she just woke up and can she come by Friday am instead? I work Friday. I had plans to take Friday off and go kayak camping over the 4-day weekend out by Yuma. There are some backwaters of the Colorado River I wanted to explore but I cancelled MY plans when I was asked to cat & dog-sit.

Retired Cat Lady that lives next door now has a flat and no idea of how to change it! She has no AAA or money and everything is closed because it is New Year’s Day. I offer to help because she is blocking my driveway and because I am a soft touch. FORTUNATELY, when I bought my SUV in November, I had the dealer show me how to get that tire from below the frame down. I had images of laying under the auto on my back in the dirt, holding the tire with one hand and unscrewing the bolts with the other. Dealer said ‘no’ and showed me that really neat screw in the back that lowers the tire for you. I was able to use that info to strip her minivan and get her tire free, otherwise I’d still be under her car trying to figure out how to free that tire.

OK, you can see how everything is going wrong for me. THAT should have been a warning to remain in my pajamas all day and watch _Son of the Beach_ DVDs with chips and wine. Instead I worked on my bows while waiting for people to show up…. Every fecking one was late or blew me off. And people wonder why I am so cynical. No one minds inconveniencing me and calling me for help but no one even thinks of keeping on time. Stupid Richard has no life, he’ll wait all day for anyone to call needing help.

Ok, longbow! I cut the horn tips off, measured and drilled the tips and filed the bow ends to match. Epoxied them on and set it aside. Oh No!!! they twisted and were now pointing off at an angle. I can live with that! No I cannot! But I had originally cut the tips extra-long so was able to file them shorter to take the twist out. There goes the carving I had planned.

While waiting for the epoxy to dry, I sewed a bow-bag. BUT I forgot to add the carry-loops. I’ll have to open the seam and add loops over the weekend.

I finished reshaping the horn tips, cut the notches for the string and added sinew at the base of the tips. I also whipped the bow string to close the loop and prevent it from fraying and made a string holder for the upper tip. A slice of antler made the button to hold the string.

Now for the handle. As the bow was a D-section, the hand grip was uncomfortable so I added a slice of wood to round the handle, then made an arrow-rest from a piece of antler, wrapped the handle in cloth and sinew and here that is!

Everything is set, time to test string it!

CRAP!!!!! I had set EVERYTHING while holding the bow backwards! The arrow rest is on the right side of the bow and the string notches are the wrong side and angle! I quickly stripped the handle and broke the arrow rest free, then remounted it on the proper side. Now I had a choice! Cut new grooves into the tips and live with it or cut them free and wait months until I could find another set of horns.

I cut the new grooves and will replace the tips when I can find more horns. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!


THIS is what happens when the Universe plays games with you and you insist on slogging through even though both the God Murphy and the Goddess Eris have decided to play with your life! I should have turned the phone off and crawled into bed and hid under the covers.

I am also dreading the weekend. Do I try to fix the problems or should I wait until the Gods have moved on? Or are all my problems the result of my being miserable because everyone calls me to fix their problems and help them and I am too much a stupid fool to tell them “No, I actually have my own life to live” thus making me so resentful of missed opportunities (drunk model into Bondage, exploring the backwaters of a river, wild biker sex, etc) that I get depressed and fail to pay attention to what I am doing? Who knows? I believe in omens, I just do not understand them.

Still cannot get that bowyers Knot right!!! Maybe I can settle for a bowline?

[Elleth]

Ugh.
Wanna see the leather tooling I stupidly tried to finish a while back - after I kept getting interrupted on my day off, and getting increasing POd about it?

It's in shreds now.


One thing I've learned - painfully - is to never, ever do handwork while agitated, upset, or hurried. It WILL go wrong.
Just put it away and come back another day. Sucks when you don't have much time and just want it DONE... but it's just not worth it.


Calm. Cool.
Another day.

[Ringulf]

Truly said Dear Lady!
Most people do not realize that doing this type of work requires much more than skill and technique. one needs to also have passion creativity and enthusiasm. It is one thing to work on something for yourself as you already have the need and the interest. It is altogether a different story when you need to catch another's vision and harness your skills to someone elses need. Mood and health play a great roll in the way you approach your life, espesially your crafts.
I enjoy catching someone's vision and enthusiasm. I find it most satisfying to collaborate, but I still have some difficulties being creative on a schedual. I guess I am just artsy fartsy that way but it is just the way I am wired. Perserverence is the key along with the good old work ethic of "showing up" if you do all you can to meet your muse, you will be surprised at how she will be more punctual herself!

[Yavion]

THIS is what happens when the Universe plays games with you and you insist on slogging through even though both the God Murphy and the Goddess Eris have decided to play with your life! I should have turned the phone off and crawled into bed and hid under the covers.

I am also dreading the weekend. Do I try to fix the problems or should I wait until the Gods have moved on? Or are all my problems the result of my being miserable because everyone calls me to fix their problems and help them and I am too much a stupid fool to tell them “No, I actually have my own life to live” thus making me so resentful of missed opportunities (drunk model into Bondage, exploring the backwaters of a river, wild biker sex, etc) that I get depressed and fail to pay attention to what I am doing? Who knows? I believe in omens, I just do not understand them.

Yeaaaaah, I'd say you're partly right here.

I wouldn't have hid under the covers waiting for the weird to blow over, but you are right in that you make yourself a target by being so dang accommodating. I mean, dang. Sitting on all the animals, helping all the people, and trying to make time for yourself and all the projects and possible hanky-panky? Not gonna turn out well.

The only one I'd say you should not have ignored is the guy stuck in the car who's cat you sat. Yeah, you were out $75, but getting stuck in the rain like that stinks. As for the rest of the people demanding your time, that's your time, not theirs.

I say this from personal experience, once you are no longer available to "Help" with every Thomas, Richard, and Harriet, you find that 2/3rds of that mess of people will evaporate from your life. And, if you're anything like me, you'll be sad about it for about a month to a year. Then you'll find that you have so much free time and money and friends you actually LIKE to hang out with that your stress level will plummet and your life will seem so much better.

But that's my experience, your mileage may vary.

[Kortoso]

Cool story, bro!

Still waiting for pics of course....

[Ringulf]

Rik,
My little crafting tirade was more focussed on Elleths comment than yours and for that I appologise.
I can also commiserate with your situation in the fact that being the "go to guy" has its perks but is also riddled with the stories that you have described. Lost opertunities suck (or in this case don't, mores the pity) and they don't always return to your doorstep once lost.

They are often rude, often untimely and very often do not have any sense or feeling for your needs, but the folk who look to you for the fixing of many problems also are a testimony to the way you are reguarded for your stregnth and uniqueness. I think that is a good thing and is definitely heroic in nature.
Heroes are often called upon for those same reasons and unless you are Hancock you are normally the type who rises to such occassions.

So yes you need to learn how to say no, (or have a stable of apprentice "go to" heroes you can refer people too)

But my advice to you is that you should never miss an opportunity to be a hero.

I tell young fathers and guys in relationships and old farts like me with more time than money this all the time.

The universe is a strange place, but I have found that even Murphy gets tired of you after a while if you stick to your guns. Then one day, out of the blue, the model calls from her cell phone on the back of the Bikerchick's Harley and says they are both are on their way to your house, but they are having a really hard time getting the corks out of all the expensive wine they just bought because they couldn't fit a corkscrew in their string Bikinis and need "your particular set of skills"!

Well that just sucks too, but I am sure you have the skills to rescue these fair maidens, that is as long as you have not gone out of the "hero buisiness".

[Eothain]

Man... I feel like I can relate to this tale. I used to have an endless amount of "friends", until most of them didn't need anything from me anymore. That was pretty much the story of 2014. I've always been a tight-knit group kind of guy, but the end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 yeilded masses to my party. And after many dramatic falling outs, which for a time was very depressing, my tight-knit family was still there. I don't have much family or friends, my honor-bound standards are too high, but those that are close to me I consider family, if they are not already. Everyday I try to add a bit of joy to the lives of those I care for or to strangers, but my kindess is not a weakness. If any seek to take advantage of tge deeds I do, they abruptly and honestly end.

Sorry to hear about your situation Rik, I hope that you may find serenity soon