New to the Forum

[BarrelMaker]

Wow, first of all let me just thank you all and express not only my gratitude in your willingness to share, but also how impressed I am at your honesty and courage to be true to yourselves.
Fox, I'm very happy you've found someone to compliment you so well in life, congratulations on that. Oddly enough, my wife is a bigger scifi/fantasy fan than myself, however I do express it in a way I am not sure she understands.
Ringulf, as I first read you response I thought to myself "It's cool you're secure in yourself enough to not worry about what others think, thankfully I am the same way." But after some introspection I realize that I am not necessarily that person anymore. I was at one time, but that changed, and this realization caused me to examine some things. Due to a few issues in my past I have lost quite a bit of courage (more than I really wanted to admit to myself at first) and I now see that this is an aspect of my life I want and need to work on. Somewhere along the way I think I lost a bit of myself and I fully intend to recover that. Though I am still concerned for my wife and how my actions may affect her and her work relationships. Your children sound terrific and I think you should be proud not only of them but of the way in which you and your significant other have raised them. I hope that I am able to say similar things about my children in the future. Thank you for sharing your opinions and experiences.
Manveroun, congratulations to you as well for finding a wonderful match in life. My wife as well enjoys ren faires and come to think of it, some years ago she brought me to an SCA gathering at a university she worked at shortly after we were married. Again, I do worry about what her coworkers may think or say if they saw me in full garb, but having read your post I now realize she may be more receptive than I first thought. I suppose I really haven't expressed myself to her or explained my interests. A huge failing on my part which I intend to remedy once she returns (she's out of town for a week). Your comparison to Uncle Jerry's model trains is an excellent one and the way you have broken this down to its elements is not only a great way for others to understand it, it also makes me realize that my coming here (both to this hobby as well as this forum) was inevitable and possibly fate. Thank you.
Eric C, Boone is a great place and I recommend you take a trip out here if you find the time, it really is lovely country full of friendly people. Thank you for the welcome, and I'm happy to hear that you're able to enjoy this activity with your family.
Peter, that's a wonderful way of putting it. I realize that this no different than another aspect of my life which I used to embrace fully and without worry. I'm part Native American and was raised Lakota. A passion of mine for some time has been making period clothes the way my ancestors did as well as hunting and living with the land the way they would have years ago. Rangering, I feel, would be doing the same while embracing my European ancestry, which I might add I've been doing more and more recently.
Dirhael, I feel we both have the same way of looking at Rangering. I, personally, am not into roleplaying but history, bushcraft, self-reliance, and fabrication are all strong passions of mine. I'm curious, if your parents were into Rangering with the same outlook as yourself would that have prevented you from pursuing it or embarrassed you? I agree that living simply is the most fulfilling thing in life (at least for me), and wonder if people in general would be less depressed, have less health problems, and feel more fulfilled if life were simpler. I do intend to explore this rabbit hole (great way to put it, I might add) more and am greatly excited with where it may lead. Thank you for your input, it's nice as well to hear from a younger individual.
I posed this question assuming I might find some tips on how to express my interest to others and even speak more openly with my wife about it. I did not, however, expect this to be as therapeutic as it has been, nor did I expect such an open and welcoming reaction form individuals who know so little about me. I am truly touched and thank you all for your input and help. I look forward to interacting more with you all in the future and am even more certain now that I have come to the right place. Thank you all.

[Avery P.]

I am a little late to the conversation, but will add a bit if I may. First off, wow, for such a small community as we have, I'd say N.C. is very well represented, lol. It speaks a lot of the state IMO. I'm very familiar with Boone, even had a deal a few years back with a "new age" book store in which I sold hand made rune sets and offered classes on how to make them. Beautiful town, even more beautiful country.
As for your question, I'll say this; it has been my observation, as with Foxs', that no matter what, you embarrass your kids once they get to be teens. For instance, I do blacksmithing and axe smithing. Wood working, furniture, build banjos, teach axe combat among other forms and of course collect different types of weapons. To my Daughter, who is now 16, I am a huge nerd and an embarrassment. Yet every one of her friends and (how I even hate the idea of her having a boyfriend) her boyfriend have all said at one point or another, " I wish my dad was like yours". My daughter and I are very close, and we even joke about it, but the fact remains that when kids grow up being around something, it's boring to them when they are teens. I was the same way when I was a teen, but now all the things I thought were a drag then I love doing now.
I love being with my parents canning vegetables, being with my dad and judging how a tree will fall with a string. Talking about old lore and discussing the Foxfire books. Things that I thought were so trivial and boring then, I see the value in now. It comes with age, I think. I also think that if a parent has a healty relationship with their kids, that'll always happen. My parents never tried to push anything on me. Don't get me wrong, when it was time to work I worked, but they never said "you have do it this way" or made those things a type of punishment. It was just what it was, a way of life. They didn't care so much if they looked cool, they just carried on those traditions. Traditions that I get to pass on to my (not so little) girl.

Forgive me for being so long winded, I apologize. This may be the longest post I've ever made here, lol, but permit me to go a bit further with a question.

I believe that parents should always lead by example, and one of the biggest things we try to teach our kids is to simply be who you are and to never be ashamed of it. How can we expect them to honor that code if we don't?

[BarrelMaker]

Thank you for the reply Avery. Just curious, was the store in Boone Dancing Moon? I've actually sold some woodworking there (and am due to bring in some more if I'll ever get the lead out). I really like your point about leading by example, something I'll need to keep in mind more often!

[Ringulf]

Bravo Avery, well said and a great point!

Barrelmaker, you have a wonderful teachable outlook and I know you will be wise enough to strike the right balance for you and your family.
I know very much what you meant about having lost some of yourself. I too had this same problem when I became ill and my marriage of 20 years ended. I was stricken with grief and lost all confidence in so many areas of my life, it was difficult at first but then I was introduced to a guy I used to know who I really had liked and he taught me to be a whole person again as I slowly healed.

He was me 20 years ago and not a bad felow at all! In fact we all rather like us both much better now!

BTW: Are you a cooper as referenced by your user name?

[BarrelMaker]

Ringulf, thank you for the encouraging words, and thank your for sharing some of your history as well. I'm glad you were able to find yourself again, you seem like a wonderful person. To answer you question, Cooper is my last name but not my trade. I've always wanted to actually learn how or at least try my hand at it here at home. I am an amateur woodworker and have dabbled with metal working, but living on a college campus seriously limits what I'm able to do. Good catch, by the way.

[Avery P.]

Yes indeed, it was the Dancing Moon. This was a little over ten years ago, when the store was still on the main strip up from the comic book store. They moved to the other spot and shortly after I got too busy to continue. There was a pyschic who worked there then named Linda who was really sweet. I can't remember the owners name though.

[Gondian]

HAIL, AND WELL MET!!!Glad to have you on board!

[Greg]

Wow...I need to hop on here more. Life's starting to get full for the summer.

Welcome to the boards! I see little reason more to "defend" the merits of our "strange" hobby, as my comrades here have already done an excellent job. I will say that the fact that so many seemingly mundane or "normal" things being brought together into one single hobby would be precisely why I am involved in this. I've been an archer of sorts since I was five or six, have been fascinated with swords for about the same length of time, and LOVED sneaking around in the woods and tracking/trailing/discovering wildlife. As I grew older and gained an appreciation for Tolkien, everything seemed to start attaching itself to the rest of my hobbies, and before long, they were all happening at once. There are few things that I do now as a hobby which don't attach themselves to Rangering now...all they do is expand my horizons within the wonderfully vast landscape of Middle Earth.

Welcome, well, met, and thanks for the once-again reminder that soon, VERY soon, I need to take a trip to North Carolina and have a merry moot with the lot of you in our most heavily populated State represented on the boards here.

[Straelbora]

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I'm excited to be a part of this community and hope to earn my keep. I do have one question that nags at me from time to time and would like your opinions on it. I mean no offense by this, but I notice several of you have significant others (like myself) and some of you have children (again, like myself), do any of you worry about what others may think of your passion in this field, in particular your families? My son is only four (we also have another child on the way) but I worry about embarrassing him as he grows and I do worry about embarrassing my wife as well. My wife works at a university and given the nature of her job we also live on campus, which complicates things further. How receptive have your families been and how do you make it work at home? Thanks again for the welcome and thank you for reading about my personal concerns. I look forward to hearing your advice and approaches in this matter.

My wife is a university professor in the college of business. We've got a three and a half year old son and a nine month old son. I'm a lawyer. So both my and my wife's jobs presuppose a certain conservative set of behaviors, at least on the public face. To further complicate things, my wife is from China. So American kids in the '70s might have been going to 'Star Trek' conventions and wearing Darth Vader costumes for Halloween, whereas Chinese kids at the same time were bathing at the public communal showers down the block, shivering around a coal fire in the one room apartment shared with siblings, parents and grandparents, and hoping that there were enough heads of cabbage and radishes on the balcony to last the winter. The notion of wanting to live in a fantasy world, especially a lower technological one, is very, very foreign to my wife.

That being said, life is too short to worry about what other people think. I made a fire pit in our back yard last summer our of cinder blocks and patio bricks, and had a pig roast in the fall. My wife invited pretty much the entire college of business. Right next to the fire pit is my fencing pell- a cross-shaped 'scarecrow' made out of railroad ties, covered in carpet and sporting a black metal 'medieval' helm made out of an old propane tank. All the stodgy old tenured economics professors were fascinated by it. And I just built a half-size one out of 2x4s, so that my son and I can practice our sword fighting together.

What I've found is that a lot of people are secretly envious of adults who are unfettered by the notions of 'how an adult must behave.' And don't ever underestimate how one can look in garb. I was at a Halloween party years ago. It was at a bar in Detroit where a friend of mine worked. I was in a kilt with a real dirk (tied shut with fishing line, to avoid any drunken accidents). A bunch of us guys were in the bathroom waiting our turn. In walked a guy who was 'too cool' for a Halloween costume. After a while, he looked at me and said, "Nice skirt." (Ha ha- never heard that one!) I calmly said, "It's called a kilt. Traditionally, it's worn with a blade called a dirk," and casually rested my hand on the hilt. The guy blanched, spun around and left the bar.

[Fox]

In walked a guy who was 'too cool' for a Halloween costume. After a while, he looked at me and said, "Nice skirt." (Ha ha- never heard that one!) I calmly said, "It's called a kilt. Traditionally, it's worn with a blade called a dirk," and casually rested my hand on the hilt. The guy blanched, spun around and left the bar.

Ha ha! Too cool, and I'm going to have to remember that one! Way to go!

[Kiriana]

Hello and welcome to the forums!! SC here!